boyfriends

aren't like girlfriends.
This whole sexual orientation/gender-identity continuum has gotten to a point with me where I'm intrigued, curious, could analyze it to the nth degree...and I'm also SO FUCKING BORED. After living in politicized, activist cities along the West Coast, where the Oppression Olympics (aka My Victim Status is Better Then Yours) reigns supreme and people (at least in the various subgroups I've been a part of) define themselves based on their labels, kinks, ability to get scholarships based on their membership to various and sundry oppressed groups...New York, where gay men reign supreme in the industries I'm involved in, lesbians are invisible, and people sniff ass status-wise like dogs in the dog park and then rearrange their behavior and social circles around whatever spot they find themselves in the hierarchy and what their ultimate status goals are...and now being stuck in the largest city in the middle of the country that could more accurately be called the nation's most urbanized suburb, with a huge gay population that has tastes and attitudes that are just as if not more so mundane, banal, unexamined and unpoliticized as the mainstream het population that it makes me want to hop on the first multi-gendered SM-positive GLBTQ ad nauseum performance art bandwagon outta here and hightail it back to San Francisco...oddly enough, bandwagons dont tend to stop here from either coast. do i blame it on the altitude?
point being...spending the first half of my dating life interested and attracted to women exclusively, and now finding myself long-disgusted with the lesbian "community"-thats a whole 'nother blog...but still attracted to and loving women...and newly attracted to men and in love with one specific man who is more comfortable and in tune with his femininity than most of the dykes I've met, and masculine in (mostly) all of the best ways...coming to a point beyond labels, including bisexuality. I was thinking about it the other night (whilst drinking a lovely glass of semillon, surrounded by stacks of library books) and realized that the closest definition that fits is that i'm a bi-curious high femme tomboy dyke who is in love with a man and in a heterosexual relationship. Yay for me. And that's enough labeling for me. Ive got bigger concerns, like-bangs, or no bangs? Keep those scissors away from me! The connection between major life changes, late night wine drinking, and homejob haircuts is well-documented and hardly something i should indulge in this evening...yes? ta!